Sunday, January 23, 2011

daylight is coming

this has been a long year.

there have been several times in my life so far when God has called me out of and away from the life that i was in and takes me somewhere completely different. Sometimes it was out of something that was bad for me and sometimes it was out of something that was good for me. Either way, the transition was really challenging.

this year has been a year of searching and working and feeling a lot like i am stumbling around in the dark. since God called me to leave the community that i knew and loved and asked me to move back home with my parents. it was something i did willingly because i knew that it would lead me closer to finishing school and because i knew that God would never ask me to do anything that had no purpose, even if the purpose was simply obedience.

one of my most favorite moments in the Chronicles of Narnia series takes place in the sixth book The Silver Chair. Eustace, Jill, and Puddleglum (a marshwiggle-just take my word for it if you haven't read the book) are searching for the lost prince of Narnia. They find him deep underground, far from the sun, grass and sky above and far enough down in the darkness to make them forget about the world above, and to even doubt the existence of Aslan. The witch that had held the prince captive for so many years begins to plant doubts into their minds, and as much as they fought to try and remember what the grass and the sun are like, the witch's powers slowly overtaking them. But Puddleglum was able to fight it out and proclaim:

"Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things–trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that’s a small loss if the world’s as dull a place as you say.”

-C.S. Lewis

this is what i have set my mind upon. when i feel discouraged and like i am so far from the Lord that i begin to wonder if any of it is real, then i realize that even if i waste my life looking for heaven, that is a small price to pay if this world is really all there is.

so, because my birthday is in January, a new year and a new age go hand in hand for me, and while 2010 and 27 was a year of dryness, loneliness, and perseverance. i am pretty sure that 2011 and 28 will be a year of breakthrough.

and i am seeing the fruit already.

thank you Jesus.

as a result of this many of his disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. So Jesus said to the twelve, "You do not want to go away also do you?" Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God." John 6:66- 69

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